Friggin' Walnuts
by obsidianLight16
Summary: The one time Deidara tries to be nice to Itachi- it just has to completely backfire!


**A/N: I had a dream last night and was inspired. Nevermind the fact that the dream had nothing to do with this- but it _did _have the Akatsuki in it. **

**Warning: Language, maybe slight OOC (not much)**

**Disclaimer: All rights to Masashi Kishimoto who is just absolutely insane. I admire him!**

**Deidara's P.O.V.**

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><p>It was late afternoon and I was sitting at the kitchen table, a large bowl full of walnuts seated in front of me. One hand held my chin, the other digging aimlessly through the bowl before throwing a handful of the small fruits- or were they vegetables? What exactly <em>was <em>a walnut?

I suppose it was a…nut.

But that's not the point. The point was- I was bored, no one was around to bother since Sasori-danna locked himself up in his room and a majority of the other members were away on missions. There was nothing to do except eat these friggin' walnuts.

For some strange reason, Sasori-no-danna told me not to touch the walnuts. I have no idea why, seeing as I've eaten them before. Apparently I had them while on a mission and ended up unconscious. But he must be lying because I don't remember being knocked out. And what kind of walnuts made you lose consciousness?

Damn walnuts.

They were delicious and I could never get enough of 'em. In fact- my addiction to them was bordering on obsession.

Now that I think about it…it _might _be the reason why danna won't let me near them.

I was contemplating the other possibilities of why my danna would care if I ate walnuts or not when someone else entered the kitchen and broke me out of my musings.

It was Itachi.

I paused in my eating to look at him. His cloak was off and he seemed to still be in sleeping clothes. I heard from Kisame that they had another run-in with his little brother. A sore subject to the Uchiha who everyone knew not to mention around him.

Except for Kisame.

It seemed like Itachi had complete trust in his partner. Even if Kisame had spoken to him though, Itachi didn't look any better. He looked tired and upset and distracted and it was kind of pissing me off! He never showed that much emotion- even if it was only visible through his eyes. He was supposed to be the composed one who never let things get to him.

But… I guess no one is perfect like that.

Even Itachi.

Itachi sat down across from me, absently looking at the table.

What was I supposed to do though? Sit here and watch him? Was I supposed to say something? Throw something at him?

Nevermind, I didn't feel like dying.

But if not any of those…what could I give him? Everyone cheered up when they got things they liked. My gaze wandered to the bowl of walnuts in front of me. I could offer him some of these….but I'm pretty sure he was allergic to them. Would he even notice if they were walnuts? I mean, he looked so out of it I don't think he'd be able to tell the difference between a peanut and sack of rocks.

The silence was thick enough to kill an elephant. Easily.

Screw allergies! I couldn't sit here like this any longer!

I coughed somewhat out of place, hurriedly shoving my bowl towards the teen in front of me. "H-Here!" I blurted out.

He stared at me.

"Er…you can have some if you want…" I trailed off when his stare grew more intense. "I mean, you don't have to un. They're not that great anyway! It tastes nutty and-"

Itachi sighed wearily, looking in the opposite direction. "I'm allergic to walnuts."

I give a small shrug, bringing the bowl back to me. "I know. But there wasn't much else I could offer."

He turns his head to look at me, surprise clearly etched onto his face. I ignore the staring in favor of stuffing my face with a handful of walnuts, chewing almost obnoxiously just to fill the awkward silence that has fallen over us. Now that I think about it, eating too much of this kind of makes me feel…

Sick!

My cheeks puffed out, eyes popping out of my head as my face turned green.

This stuff makes me feel sick!

Now I know why Sasori-danna never let me near the damn things!

I push the bowl across the table and slump over, covering my mouth with my hands and moaning about stupid walnuts and their addicting flavor.

"Deidara?" Itachi comes to stand beside me, eyes narrowed.

I turn my head away, starting to feel my tongue and throat constrict. "Hmph."

Itachi gives me a look of disbelief. "Deidara, are you _allergic _to walnuts?"

"…Maybuh," is all I manage to get out before threatening to hurl again.

Itachi lets out a small laugh, helping me stand up from the table and starting to direct us towards the kitchen exit with my arm around his neck. I'm left blinking in bewilderment and shock at the amused noise leaving Itachi's lips. I have _never _heard him make that sound in all my years in Akatsuki. Which wasn't much- but still!

He must have noticed the holes I was boring into his head because he gives me an amused glance. "I have emotions you know."

I lift a brow, unable to say anything due to the ridiculous swelling in my mouth.

Damn you walnuts!

Itachi rolls his eyes with the hint of a small smile on his face.

But the smile is quickly wiped off when Sasori-no-danna steps out of his bedroom, looking at the both of us with his brows raised and a large katana in his hand.

"What happened to the brat now?" Sasori asked as we came to a stop in front of him.

"Nothing."

I glance at Itachi with a bit of surprise and sadness- hearing his cold tone and feeling his posture stiffen. He's closed back up again, and even as we step around my danna to continue on our way, he says nothing. Put off by the coldness, I move my gaze to the ground, trying to figure out how long it'll take us to get to wherever we were going. Speaking of which….

Where _were _we going?

"…." I hesitantly spoke up. Well, not really. I kind of just nudged him in the side with an elbow. There was a huge cloud of depressing aura hanging around his head, and I wasn't trying to catch some of that any time soon.

He spared me a look.

I cleared my throat, finding it futile in the end, and tried to get my question across using gestures with my spare hand.

I guess he understood, because he looked ahead and muttered, "Kakuzu should be able to give you something for eating walnuts like an idiot."

I blink as the harsh words sunk in, recoiling just a bit. If I could talk I would've come up with a snappy retort! He's lucky my mouth has gone completely numb and I need his support to hobble around with bile trying to force its way out of me! Hmph.

We come to a stop outside Kakuzu's room and Itachi politely knocks.

Why? I have no idea.

I usually just kick the door down.

Of course….I usually end up with more wounds than I originally had…but it was still fun seeing his eyes bulge out of his head and vein burst from his neck.

Kakuzu opening the door broke me out of my happy thoughts, making me pointedly look away and Itachi give me an odd look.

"What's the matter?" Kakuzu gruffly asked.

I suppose he was doing something important like working on business deals with other village leaders- it's a shame we interrupted. I inwardly snickered, pulling down an eyelid and sticking out my tongue at Kakuzu.

He turned a dark glare onto me, making a chill run up my spine. "Do that again…."

I sheepishly scratched the back of my neck, knowing that if I kept it up, he'd leave me in the bloated, sick state I was currently in.

Itachi released his grip on my arm, pushing me towards Kakuzu with a blank expression. "He ate walnuts."

"Aren't you allergic to those?" Kakuzu asked me, stepping back so that I could stand in the doorway some.

I merely bobbed my head.

I _swear _Kakuzu rolled his eyes at me as he pulled me into his room and went to his medical cabinet. Itachi vanished from sight, and I could only assume he left to spend some alone time with himself rather than watching after me. I would have sulked a little more over this fact had it not been for the scalpel Kakuzu poised between his fingers as he turned around.

I took a step back in alarm.

I may not know what you do for allergic reactions- but using a small blade is not one of them!

Kakuzu grabbed me before I could run.

The worst part?

No one could hear my screams.

Damn you walnuts and damn you Kakuzu!

~X~

Ten minutes later- after much struggling and thrashing around- I stepped out of Kakuzu's room, voice back and tongue swelling going down by the second. I looked over my shoulder sourly to see Kakuzu waving at me almost sadistically.

"You're welcome," he said, sounding overjoyed.

"The pleasure is mine hmm," I sarcastically said back, slamming his door shut in time to hear his short chuckles. My eyes narrowed as I reached into my clay pouch. A nice bomb to his room should shut him up for the time being…

"What are you doing?"

I turned calmly, hiding the fact that I almost had a panic attack. Although I'm sure the twitching of my eye was giving it away. Leaning against the wall was none other than Itachi. Huh…looks like he waited after all…

He stared at the clay in my hand.

I let out a nervous laugh, clenching my fist and shoving the clay back where it came from. "Just working on my hand muscles," I lied.

"You're lying."

Dammit! I looked away, fake tears pouring down my face. My lying was never really good…

Itachi pushed off the wall, standing in front of me with a brow raised.

I stared at him as he stared back. "What un?"

He smirked, poking me in the forehead with two fingers before turning around and beginning to walk off. "Be more careful next time."

I glared after his retreating form, holding the red mark on my head with a scowl. "That hurt you bastard un!"

He simply waved behind him without looking.

And for the second time that day, I heard him laugh.

Deciding it wasn't worth being angry over, I huffed a bit with a smile on my face and headed for my room.

I could mold the bomb for Kakuzu's room there.

~X~

A Few Hours Later

~X~

I was lounging around in Sasori-danna's room, sprawled on his bed and flipping through one of his books on puppetry in utter boredom. Kakuzu tried to kill me after the explosion went off and destroyed his sleeping quarters so I took refuge in my danna's room.

It wasn't like he would kick me out anyway.

Sasori-no-danna looked over from where he sat on his workbench, carving what I think was supposed to be an arm.

Note: _supposed to be._

However, since I valued my limbs at the moment, I chose to keep my snide comment to myself.

"Why were you eating walnuts when I _specifically _told you to stay away from them?" he asked me.

"Because they're good un," I muttered, looking away from an elaborate diagram of the inside design of a puppet in the book. "Why'd you leave them out if you knew I'd eat them?"

Sasori threw the arm at me which I easily dodged, rolling off the bed to glare at him. "I thought you'd be smart enough not to touch the stupid things," he said with a smirk. "Apparently not."

"Shut up danna!" I shouted, vein throbbing.

"Calm down brat." Sasori offered me a small bag from his desk. "I felt bad so I got you something."

I suspiciously took the bag and opened it, peering inside.

My eyes widened.

Sasori turned away, preferably to laugh to himself.

"Damn you!" I threw the bag at his head, watching as the walnuts inside exploded all over his work area. Hmph! Well he wasn't laughing now!

… Shit.

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><p><strong>AN: The end. One of my second first person fics :P**


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